


nothing gory means no glory

by deimosun



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Multi, leo is... an asshole, this is a little bit dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 14:52:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8165773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deimosun/pseuds/deimosun
Summary: it's almost midnight and neymar is sitting on his bed, back propped upon the headboard when he hears a firm knocking coming from the window and he knows before looking up that it’s leo
or, leo is an asshole and neymar is in love with his best friend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> title from [sloppy seconds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCEsveSK5to) by watsky.

 

it's almost midnight and neymar is sitting on his bed, back propped upon the headboard when he hears a firm knocking coming from the window and he knows before looking up that it’s leo. he puts the xbox controller down after hitting pause and gets up, naked feet hitting the wooden floor and making a soft thud noise.

leo's face is glued against the glass and he’s making a face, eyes crossed, tongue out. neymar snorts before fiddling with the lock and then finally pushing the window up, stepping aside to let leo in. leo bends his body so he’ll pass through the opening and after he’s in the room, he walks to the bed and flops down against it.

neymar walks towards his friend, stops a second before getting on the bed too, and takes leo in. his skin is still flushed and he smells of sweat and lotion and sex, that’s unmistakable. he has both arms behind his head and his shirt had ridden up a bit, revealing the hair trail near his navel. neymar feels his eyes focusing on the pale patch of skin on their own so he lays on the bed and hides his face halfway on a pillow.

“don’t make much noise, leo!” neymar exclaims while trying to be quiet and kicks his shin without any real strength behind it. “my parents are sleeping.”

leo nods and shuffles a bit closer, looks into his eyes.

“do you want to know what happened, ney?” he asks.

and this, right now? he’s playing. he's playing because he knows neymar wants to know but he stills chooses to probe, to ask, just to hear neymar saying it.

“yeah leo, come on.” he answers and leo smirks like the cat who got the canary.

“ok, so. we were on the date and it went really well, she liked the movie and she was smiling a lot and looking at me like she wanted maybe something more, you know? so yeah, we walk to her house since the movie theater wasn’t that far away and i was thinking oh, so this is how it ends i guess. except not, ‘cause when i bend in to kiss her goodbye she puts her fingers through my belt loops and looks at me under her eyelashes and she’s like ‘do you want to go up to my room, leo?’”

neymar is looking at him, eyes unblinking and their legs are close, touching just enough that leo can feel the smoothness of neymar’s shaved legs rubbing against his own hairy ones.

so he tells him, about how anto pulled him inside her bedroom and let him press her down against the wall, against the mattress, let him finger her and eat her out just to then fuck her, condom snug around his dick and how she was so wet and tight around him, how it felt too good to be true.

and the thing is, neymar is listening to it, nodding on all the right places and making humming sounds when he has to but all he can think about is - all he can think about is him, about leo's body over him, holding him down and fucking him, hands tight around his hips and maybe, just maybe something more something extra, something more (a hand too tight, gripping steady). leo is grinning while he tells it, about how good anto felt around him and how sweet her moans were, his words becoming more and more filthy by the minute.

neymar gets hard. he gets hard from hearing it, from picturing leo fucking him, he does. and leo, after telling the story, sighs and mumbles a drawn out "mannnn now i'm horny again," and neymar just wiggles on the bed, trying to make his hard on less noticeable. leo notices, of course. he always does. neymar is not the best at subtlety even with his head is not clouded with thoughts like these.

leo grins then, wolfish as he comes closer to neymar, puts a hand on his neck and slides it down slowly, until he can rub against neymar's lower stomach (no hairs because neymar likes being smooth there too), fingertips just brushing against his underwear's waistband. neymar barely muffles a whimper and leo snorts, but not meanly.

"do you want a hand ney, hmm?" he asks, teasingly like he's just doing neymar a favor, just rubbing one off for him. like it's a regular thing friends do all the time.

neymar is all wide eyes and all desire but still waiting for leo to jump up and say it's a joke while throwing his head back in laughter.

leo doesn't.

his face gets closer to neymar's face, he bumps their noses together.

"hmm?" he asks again. neymar nods affirmatively and then leo finally, finally gets his hand inside neymar’s pants and wraps it around his dick.

 

* * *

 

leo is pretty new to this sex thing, full on out. he wants to try stuff he's seen on porn, like that's how it's supposed to go, right? that’s how they do it, right?

first time, it goes like this.

they are fucking, he and anto, and he's going hard and deep inside her, she's moaning and scratching at the sheets. he slows down to a stop, and asks her: "can i pull your hair?" breathlessly, his dick wrapped on wetness. she looks at him like he's dumb for half a second before rolling her eyes. "no way, darling. just keep going," so that's what he does.

but it’s later now and he’s home, on his bedroom alone and it’s over midnight, he should be sleeping but he just can't stop thinking about it, about gripping his partner's hair while fucking into them, how it would feel to have that control over someone. he feels something low stirring on his belly, spreading through his body like a wave.

he sneaks a hand inside his pajama shorts and jerks off, rubbing a thumb against the head of his dick and spreading the wetness that got gathered on the tip around the whole shaft, the entire time thinking about the hair pulling thing. when it’s over, he wipes his come on a discarded shirt by the floor and shoves it under the bed before turning around and going to sleep, a lazy sated feeling already installing itself inside his bones. maybe he’ll forget it.

 

* * *

 

next day rolls around, and he still hasn’t managed to stop thinking about that.

when he picks neymar up from his extracurricular art class and suggest they go over to his house since his mom is working a late shift at the hospital today, neymar nods excitedly and starts going on a speech about destroying his pride on fifa. leo just laughs and mocks him while letting out a reminder of their last score (5-2) and neymar pouts, says it was a lucky strike.

(they have been doing this, whatever it is, for a while now. sometimes they fuck, sometimes they don’t. it depends. it's not an always on thing.)

they are on leo’s bed after snacking several cookies from the cookie jar, crumbs all over the bed. his mom is gonna kill him. leo rolls over and gets up slightly, just pushes his body weight on his forearms so he’s hovering over neymar, who was his mouth parted and lips shiny with spit from his tongue poking out one too many times. he lowers his head until his own lips are right over neymar’s, until he can feel puffy warm breath against his face.  

“tell me what you want,” he asks, one hand sneaking under neymar’s shirt.

“come on, leo don’t- don’t do this, ahh,” neymar says, stuttering a bit when leo gets a hand around his nipples.  leo bends down to kiss him then, dirty and full of tongue, knocking the breath out of his lungs and whimpering against his mouth when he feels neymar digging his short nails on the back of his neck, leaving half moons as a mark on his skin.

when he fucks him a bit later, neymar is on his hands and knees and leo is going at it, going at him. hard and fast and slick, his hips slapping against neymar’s ass with each thrust. he doesn’t even think it through, not really and it’s like the words leave his mouth on their own accord, before he can even think twice.

“can i pull your hair?” he asks, neymar trembling slightly under his touch and moving his hips back a bit too, to try and get leo to move again.

“yes fuck come on leo, whatever you want,” he says back, nodding frantically, his spine fluid just like a cat’s.

leo does, then. he starts fucking neymar again and pulls at his hair, lightly at first but the pulls grow bolder, stronger with each thrust. neymar’s moans somehow get even higher when leo finally, finally pull at the strands properly.

neymar comes not too late, whimpering and pushing his hips back to get more always more always always more. leo comes pretty soon after that, like something was shot into his bloodstream. he comes buried deep inside neymar, one hand fisting his hair and the other one wrapped tightly around his hips, leaving dark purple fingertip bruises behind.

neymar is left a soft, mouth gaping mess over the comforter.

 

* * *

 

they are all getting ready on the locker room before practice, the boys as rowdy as usual. geri is trying to yell out a joke louder than dani and rafinha is poking at mats’ right nipple and sergi is almost dry humping the marcs by the corner of the room, near the showers.

neymar tries to – key word here being tries – to take of his tank top and put the team shirt quickly but before he can even manage to pull it fully through his head, someone snatches it from him and everyone wolf whistles at what they see. 

“woooooow,” dani exclaims, stressing the o for several seconds while he jumps off the bench, where he was giving his usual eight minute long motivational speech and strides up to him. “hold on little bro! who is responsible for all these?”

and by these he means obviously the angry looking bruises neymar got around his hips, shaped just like someone held there a bit too tightly during some pretty intense sex. neymar's face goes beet red, his cheeks flushing up and he tries to get his shirt back but geri is still holding it very far away from his reach.

“nobody.”

geri snorts and starts laughing. dani looks at him very pointedly.

neymar lets out an annoyed sigh and tries to snatch his shirt again and when it doesn’t work, he kicks geri on the shin which makes him lower his hands just during enough time for neymar to grab it from his gigantic hands and dress up quickly.

“i don’t fuck and tell.”

“sorry but that’s _exactly_ what you do.” someone shouts from the back of the room. probably jordi.

neymar looks down, puts a hand on the back of his neck and taps his feet against the ground for a few times before looking up again.

he sees leo then, for the first time since he walked inside the room. he’s near the left corner with masche and he’s looking at him, straight at neymar while masche continues speaking about whatever it is. he feels something low stirring on his belly, like a snake wrapping its body around his gust and pressing tight.

“well, not this time.” he says while grabbing his cleats with the socks tucked inside them with one hand and the shin pads with the other before running out of the room, leo’s serious look burning on the back of his head.

the hairs on his arms are still up when he walks bare footed into the pitch’s wet grass.

 

* * *

 

they have been going out for a few weeks.

leo is over anto’s house one day while her parents are having dinner out when he asks "can i fuck you without a condom? the dudes on the football team say it feels way better for the guy."

she looks at him like he's crazy, digs her perfect manicured nails on his biceps. "that's your issue, baby. not mine."

and well, that is that.

 

* * *

 

except not really.

except when is the next time he's with neymar, he asks to fuck him without a condom.

neymar stops, looks around - he's a bit unsure, sucking his lower lip into his mouth, but ends up nodding, so leo does it, fucks him without a condom. it feels amazing, it truly does, the guys weren't lying. neymar is tighter, hotter around him, slicker. it's like paradise wrapped around his dick. when he comes, he slips it out just a bit to come all over neymar's lower back, painting a bit of his ass white before pushing his dick inside again, letting the last strands of come land inside. neymar lets out a muffled whimper from where he has an arm thrown over his face, trying to keep quiet.

leo pushes and pushes and pushes because he knows neymar will always give.

 

* * *

 

lately it’s gotten to a point that –

lately it’s gotten to a point that he can’t even look at antonella without feeling sick, without feeling like puking. he can fee stomach acid coming up on his throat and he chokes it down, forcefully.

(also, he thinks that she knows. she must be aware that some of the marks on her boyfriend’s body weren’t put there by her, and if the pointed looks she shoots him mean anything, then. she knows.)

he was ignoring it at first, sure. it was supposed to be a one off, right? just something friends do, something casual, just a once in a lifetime thing. but it wasn’t that, no. it was leo knocking on his window at almost one am after he left his girlfriend’s house and getting all over his bed, all over him. it was leo pressing a hand maybe a bit too tight against the side of his neck.  it was leo coming to him, still smelling of her and with scratches made from long nails still red on his back and fucking neymar raw.

and now he doesn’t know what to do, has no idea how to deal with this because as ridiculous as it sounds, there is a part of him that screams and protests and believes leo might like him. might like him too.

he can’t close that door but he can’t keep it fully open, either.

 

* * *

 

god, how much neymar gives of himself. how much he puts on display and just lets leo pick out the parts he wants to have, the parts he wants to own.  he does his best and tries to give something, everything, to be what leo wants, what leo is looking for.

he tries not to think about antonella, usually because if he does, he feels guilty and even more ashamed. she has no blame on all of this, but then again who is?

(maybe leo.

always leo.)

 

* * *

 

he never says "anto doesn't let me do it with her" before doing it. he says it after. he says it after, after they've both come and neymar is all soft and cuddly on the bed. he says, "i don't know why anto won't let me do it with her, dude. you seemed pretty into it so i guess i have no idea why". neymar's whole body snaps tense, his shoulders going rigid and foot no longer tapping a fast paced tune against the wood on the end of the bed.

neymar knows how things are. he knows what’s on the table and he'll take what he can get his hand on. but when leo says it, after he's pulled out - he does feels dirty, like it's a drop of ink on a blank sheet of paper. his body absorbs the shame quickly and suddenly he's feeling it all over, a deep gut wrenching feeling that won't go away for days, doesn't matter how many showers he takes, how many times he scrubs at his neck where leo sucked two hickeys while pulling neymar's hair and forcing his head to the side.

it doesn’t go away and sits still, low and sinking deep down near his gut.

 

* * *

 

dani walks up to him while he’s on his way home. he has a smile on his face, as usual, and his cap is backwards. the stud on his ear is shining with the sunrays reflecting on it. he slings and arm over neymar’s shoulders, and presses their bodies close.

“what’s up, little bro?” he asks and neymar snorts.

“nothing much. what are you doing?”

“walking you home, what does it look like?”

“i don’t need to be walked home, i'm not a kid dani!” neymar answers, laughing seeping through his teeth and escaping from his mouth.

dani suddenly stops walking and grabs his arm, makes neymar look at him. there’s no trace of lightness on his face and his eyes look dark, closed off, stormy and ready for a disaster.

“i know about it ok? i know you love him and i can tell what is going on. i'm not dumb, neymar. and i'm not going to tell you what to do but please, just. be careful, ok? you know how he is like. you know how he gets.”

he thinks it over for two, five seconds. hugs dani and buries his face against his neck, hugs him tight and doesn’t let go even after surely more than two minutes have passed. he murmurs lowly a _thank you_ , and dani hums, pets his hair.

neymar knows how leo is like. how mean he can be, how cruel when he’s feeling cornered and when he feels like how there’s no other way out. he knows what dani is worrying about, and he doesn’t want that to happen too, to be on the receiving end of all that but –

love is a like a vine. it starts on your heart but the branches soon get out and start wandering, reaching other things, going up your throat until you have no other choice but let it out, open your mouth and let it spill, finally stop holding it _in_.

 

* * *

 

antonella is the one to break things off between them.

she calls him and asks to meet up at her favorite coffee shop, the one near the mall that is kind of close to their school.

leo walks in there with half a feeling that he knows what this is going to be about.

she’s sipping on her dulce de leche frappucino when she gets up to meet him and kisses him on the cheek, before pulling him down on the same booth as her and looking at him on the eye. she looks stunning, as usual.

“i think we should end this, don’t you leo?” she asks but it sounds more like an affirmation than anything.

he frowns and tries to come up with something to say, maybe explain? ask for an explanation? but when he has organized his thoughts enough and opens his mouth to talk, anto is looking at him like he’s slower than a turtle.

“i know you are with him, leo.” she says after letting out a little sigh and leo’s hand stop working from where he was messing with the sugar packets over the table.

“i.”

“i guess i should be mad. instead i’m just a bit annoyed but i don’t particularly care?” she takes another sip from her cup. “no offense but like, i'm not love with you or anything and i knew from the start it was a casual thing so.”

he tries to think of something to say but comes up empty handed. what do you even say on a situation like this anyway? what is the protocol of having a pretty much amicable after semi cheating break up?

he doesn’t say anything and anto puts a hand on his arm, rubs her thumb against his skin.

“i'm sorry?” he tells her, way more like a question than it should be.

she laughs then, quiet and puts a hand in front of her mouth like she has the habit of doing before getting up and pulling her bag over her shoulder.

“nothing really to be sorry for leo, what is done is done. but i gotta go meet daniella now, ok? i'll see you around!”

she leaves waving her hand at him and turns up front without waiting for him to wave her back.

 

* * *

 

leo goes home after that, uses the subway and gets lucky when the rain stops just before he has to walk to his house. he's tired, but it’s the deep bone feeling kind of the tired, the feeling that doesn’t go away with a nap and a caffeine boost.

he walks inside his room and stops after the door, taking it in.

the comforter, still a mess and all sprawled recklessly over the bed from where fucked neymar the night before. the discarded bottle of lube still by the foot of the bed, the iphone charger still plugged in from where his phone was charging after they spent an hour looking at cute baby sloths videos on youtube.

there's little bits and pieces of neymar everywhere, all over it. a forgotten shirt near the bed and his favorite dark blue hoodie resting against the armchair on the corner, near the closet. there's the book he was reading for his english class thrown near the tv and there is still a packet of unfinished hard candies on his dresser (neymar’s favorite, of course).

leo looks at it, and thinks –

leo looks at it and _thinks_.

 

* * *

 

age fourteen, laying on his bed at night and looking at the glow in the dark stars that neymar insisted he glued to his ceiling.

“leo,” neymar murmurs, breaking the silence.

leo makes a non committal noise and feels neymar grabbing his hand, palm is warm and soft against his own.

“just wanted to know if you were napping.”

“i wasn’t.”

“ok.”

“ok.”

he links their fingers together before closing his eyes, the glow up high still dancing behind his eyelids.

 

* * *

 

age sixteen, playing footy around on the park. it's going to be dark soon but they are still playing like when they were kids, laughing and running and the sole of their feet rubbing against the grass, staining their toes green.

“come on, leo!” neymar exclaims when he gets the ball stolen from him again, before launching himself at his friend. they end up rolling around on the ground, leo trying to regain his breath back from being knocked over like that, from having neymar sitting on him like this.

“who wins now, you asshole?” neymar asks, glowing from finally coming over on top, a smile on his face and a shine on his eyes.

leo laughs and puts both hands on his waist, thumbs sinking on soft flesh from where his shorts had ridden down a bit.

“you do, neymar. you win.”

 

* * *

 

more recent now, neymar’s hair already sporting a pretty mohawk dyed blond, just the tips.

it's movie night. they are watching a horror movie and neymar got scared at the creepy devil, hiding his face behind his hands and closing his hand around leo’s arm really tightly.

“scared, ney?” he asks, a bit teasingly. when neymar doesn’t answer and doesn’t move his arms though, not even an inch, leo turns the dvd off instantly.

“it’s ok, don’t worry. i'll protect you.”

“will you?” neymar asks, still not looking, not even opening his eyes to peek a little bit. he makes it sound like this question really matters, like it’s real and important and it will be enough. leo’s hearts swells with fondness.

leo takes the hands away slowly from neymar’s face, the soft glow of the black screen on the tv the only thing lightening up the room.

“i will, ney. i promise.”

 

* * *

 

_we gotta talk_ , neymar messages him.

**ok** **?** , he sends back. they do, but he’s not sure he wants it right now. he’s not sure he can do it right now.

_im coming over rn_

**but its raining**

_im coming over._

 

* * *

 

when he sees neymar on his doorstep, dripping wet from the rain, bangs hanging over his forehead and his white shirt so soaked you could see through it, it hits him like a train. it's like he saw it coming but suddenly it was there, all over his face and running right over him, knocking the breath out of his lungs and the earth from beneath his feet.

he remembers everything and more, little moments and snapshots that had simply slid by. holding hands on the park, walking home on the dark, neymar napping against his neck, little huffed warm breaths hitting his skin and making the hairs on his arms stand up. he remembers neymar, mostly. how he looks when he’s excited and how he looks when he’s sad, how his shoulders drop and how his lips get into a slight pout.

it’s makes his heart feel constricted inside his chest, something bad pulling everything inside, making it sting.

neymar is not looking at him, he’s looking down into the water puddles and when he does speak up, after some tense silence, his voice sounds constricted.

“listen, leo i – i can’t do this anymore. you have a girlfriend and – “

“i don’t, anymore. she broke up with me. today.” leo interrupts him, wanting to let it out on the open as soon as possible. but neymar doesn’t look up, his voice doesn’t change.

“no leo it doesn’t matter, don’t you see? because i want more than you and i can’t do this, it’s not fair on me. it’s just not fair.”

neymar is quiet, not saying anything, still looking down and digging his sneakers into the wet grass near leo’s front porch.

“this is not fair.” he repeats again finally, voice trembling a little bit. “you can’t do this. you don’t get to do this. i've been in love with you since i was thirteen and it can’t keep going on like that.”

“no, no listen ney, listen to me, ok?” he says it all out only in one breath like he’s afraid of losing words on the middle of the way, of losing _this_. “i don’t know why it took me so long and i'm sorry but i'm really not good with feelings, with talking it out loud but you already know this, i'm sorry but –“ he cuts himself off, passes a hand through his hair and pulls at the strands.

he looks at neymar again, at the slump on his shoulders and how cold he must be feeling and how he’s still holding himself a touch away, a touch too far.

leo puts both hands on his cheeks and hauls him up, forces him to look into his face before kissing neymar on the lips, soft and slow and sweet. he keeps still for a few seconds before breaking away, but his hands don’t move.

“neymar, i want you.” he says, his thumbs caressing neymar’s cold wet skin. “above everything else. anyone else.”

neymar looks at him finally, looks him on the eyes for the first time that day and there’s a heaviness behind his eyes that didn’t use to be there. leo's stomach growls with guilt.

“i want you.” he repeats again and neymar closes his eyes and listens to it, like he’s taking it in. his breath is like warm puffs against leo’s lips, so different from his skin right now.

“come inside?” leo asks, one hand haven travelled to the back of neymar’s neck, rubbing circles half distractedly.

neymar looks at him again, eyes green with flecks of gold. he nods and gets inside the house, squeezing leo’s hand once before letting it go.

leo watches him walking inside the hall, his shoes making a wet sound against the tiles and his body shaking a bit from the cold.

_i want you on every corner of my house and on every corner of my heart_ , he thinks, but doesn’t say it out loud. instead, he closes the door and follows neymar upstairs.


End file.
